I have CHS and CRSE syndromes [Ed. Note: See definitions below.], so you have to speak loudly and clearly, and take off your mask so I can read your lips. Either that or I have to bring an interpreter. My hearing aids just don’t seem to be up to the task anymore.
This is my third set and I’m surrounded by Post-its telling me to either get ’em tuned up, or go buy the next generation thereof.
I was really excited about my first set. My first chat with them in place was with my brother and his wife. I noticed that they were having trouble hearing me because I was speaking so quietly. My wife used to get mad because I couldn’t hear her. Ha! Revenge.
Now she gets mad because she can’t hear me. Go figure.
Went for a walk near my brother’s place in Parksville, hearing all kinds of things I didn’t realize I was missing: surf, birdsong, frogs and crickets… Well yeah, it’s pretty hard to hear surf in Whitehorse. But the point is that those annoying commercials are right. Pay attention!
Here’s one that all men will recognize: The first time you answer the call of nature with your newly augmented hearing in place is going to be a big surprise. “Holy crap! It sounds like Niagara!”
My second and third sets have a bluetooth connection so we can route the TV output directly to me. I guess I could probably watch tv without waking up you-know- who.
Best of all: I can answer my cell phone through my hearing aids. Although I do get a lot of strange looks facing the rum shelves in the liquor store. Or standing in front of the meat department at the Independent Store, apparently addressing a tray of chicken breasts
“Hi, Dear.” Oh my, yes. Very strange looks. Especially if there are women shopping nearby. Very strange indeed.
Now that I’m old enough to braid the hair in my ears and nose, I keep thinking about men I used to see in the course of my working day whom I considered “old”.
Hah! You didn’t think we really saw you, eh?
Anyway, I noticed that as a man ages, his ears grow. (“Look in the mirror, Carl.”) Why doesn’t this translate into better hearing?
So if you were expecting to see photos of my ears, forget it.
I’ll be happy to enlighten you about the syndromes, though:
Can’t Hear Stuff and Can’t Remember Stuff Either. Words to live by.
