If I were a turtle,
I wouldn’t need a bulletproof vest.
If I were a kangaroo,
I wouldn’t need a pocket.
If I were a giraffe,
I wouldn’t need a ladder.
If I were a bear,
I wouldn’t need a fur coat.
If I were an elephant,
I wouldn’t need a forklift.
If I were an eagle,
I wouldn’t need a plane.
If I were an owl,
I wouldn’t need a mouse trap.
If I were a beaver,
I wouldn’t need a chainsaw.
If I were a song sparrow,
I wouldn’t need a fiddle.
If I were a rooster,
I wouldn’t need an alarm clock.
If I were a hawk,
I wouldn’t need binoculars.
If I were a wolf,
I wouldn’t need a gun.
If I were a rabbit,
I wouldn’t need camouflage clothes.
If I were a lynx,
I wouldn’t need snowshoes.
If I were a parrot,
I wouldn’t need an answering machine.
And if I were a porcupine,
I wouldn’t give free acupuncture.
