… on choosing the best way to “hang out” in eternity
For the longest time, when I thought about death—which was but rarely, since I was young and immortal—I assumed I would be cremated and have my ashes go along for a final canoe trip on the Yukon River, with friends, to be dispersed along the way at special places, with a cocktail on hand.
But in recent years, I changed my mind. It took a while, mind you, but gradually I realized I was visiting the few gravesites of friends to say hello and have a quiet minute or two with their memory. And I liked it.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4, NIV).
I’m not sure why I had avoided the thought of interment. After all, some of my more interesting travel experiences have involved graveyards or cemeteries.
A quick explainer: Graveyards are usually associated with churches, noted for their monuments and standing markers. And in olden times, they were also noted for pestilence and disease from overcrowded graves.
Cemeteries have evolved over time, from a necropolis (large cemetery belonging to an ancient city) to free-standing spaces that usually foster a peaceful, park-like atmosphere, if not an appreciation of the historical and cultural values of the community.
Here in the Yukon, we have a range of burial places. First Nations have their own traditions, and then there is the long history of graveyards and cemeteries in Dawson City (14 in all) and in each community past and present. In Whitehorse, both the Grey Mountain and Pioneer cemeteries are as much a pleasant space for the living as a resting place for the dead.
There are still some who prefer a traditional funeral, with embalming, casket, viewing, church ceremony, cortege to the graveyard and interment. That worked for my grandparents.
My parents and most friends opted for the cremation followed by a gathering, later, of friends, with or without a lot of alcohol present. And then there are those who want no funeral or gathering … no nothing.
(Plus there are the brave souls who host their own funeral so they can hear what folks have to say about them before they die.)
I think I started to change my mind about having a grave of my own, after many years of biking around France, Italy and Northern Europe. I visited a lot of graveyards and cemeteries, sometimes for practical reasons: In Italy, the small cemeteries out in the countryside usually have a water tap, which a thirsty cyclist can use to top up a water bottle.
Sometimes for history: the war grave cemeteries, from 1914 onwards, that one encounters in Europe, are powerful reminders of the hell war brings, whether they’re white marble headstones, iron crosses or giant monuments overlooking a sea of graves.
Sometimes for culture: the chance to see the signifiers of the (in)famous people buried there, the artistry of the tombstones, the poignant epitaphs or the different ways societies choose to be remembered. Also: Tombs can be a good place to stand in while the rain thunders down.
It was humbling to realize that my present will become someone else’s past, and perhaps something to be learned from. It is not a big deal to have a grave of one’s own, but it is part of the fabric of human life.
And with that in mind, I started to look into what my options were in Whitehorse. And it turns out there are a few, with more coming.
The Grey Mountain Cemetery Master Plan (2008) called for more traditional sections (grid set-up) to be built, to hold 600 interments. As well, new “Neo-Traditional” sections featuring curves, plantings, family plots, etc., would be created to hold 1,900 single interments.
Eighteen years later, much of this work on both these sections has been done, except for the columbaria (think outdoor safety-deposit boxes for ashes).
City staff are now getting ready to reach out to the public again to see if the current plan—for woodland sections, gardens for spreading ashes, green burials and even a pet section—still works or if it needs to be updated. City planner Kimberly Schlosser told me that they recognize that everyone grieves differently and that they want to ensure the cemetery meets the needs of residents and their families, as best as it can.
For example, not everyone can easily get a burial plot that meets their religious needs. A young woman killed in a car accident in December couldn’t be buried in her Ontario community cemetery. The orientation of the available plots in the main cemetery did not allow her body to be laid on its right side, facing Mecca, and an exception could not be made in the short time available.
In Whitehorse, the issue about having graves that face Mecca might also need to be addressed at some point.
It’s a big challenge, already, to plan ahead for winter, with the Grey Mountain team digging 15 to 20 graves, each fall, to handle whatever might happen once the ground freezes. Schlosser told me that while it is possible to dig a grave here in the winter, the logistics and costs usually are prohibitive.
It turns out I am not alone in my interest in having a permanent site for my ashes. Taking it to new extremes, a cemetery lottery started up last fall in Paris, to offer residents the chance to be buried near dead celebrities. It’s not cheap: a winner must first buy a rundown tomb for €4,000, then pay to restore it, then buy a lease starting at €976 for 10 years, all the way up to €17,668 for the right to rest there in perpetuity.
Meanwhile, in Whitehorse, I found that it was pretty easy to purchase a grave. The City staff were helpful, the maps clearly showed the choices available and the price was reasonable (less than $750 for a neoclassical plot to hold two sets of ashes).
And now, when I go up to Grey Mountain Cemetery to say hi to late friends and family, I know that I will be in good company when the time comes (and who knows who might come to visit me).
