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Carl Maguire is still waiting for his summons. Photo: Carl Maguire

Actually, the summons was for my wife to appear for jury selection. And it’s her second time. The first time, the selection was for a trial that would begin on our 50th anniversary. Quite appropriately, she got excused for that one.

There’s a possibility that she could be excused for this one, too, because of her age. I believe that’s an option available to her. But what about elders’ wisdom?

Not that I would have willingly gone to court on our anniversary, but I’ve always been interested in how a jury trial works in Canada. We get so much crap about trials in other countries, fiction and otherwise. Perry Mason was big when I was a kid.

I’ve been a witness in a trial by judge, and I’ve observed a trial of a friend, also by judge, from the gallery. Is it called a gallery, or is that more Perry Mason stuff?

I’ve been a member of a quasi-judicial board, even the chairperson for a few years. I’ve also been a member of the Whitehorse Diversion Committee, giving first-time young offenders an alternative to the court system. Yet, in my whole life, I have never had a jury summons.

So why don’t we ever pick me? I’ve always been willing to sit in judgment of my peers.

Now I’m way over 65 and my hearing is shot (see CHS Syndrome). I could ask to be excused for the first, and I’d probably have to be excused for the second. What? They mumble? Nobody on Perry Mason ever mumbled. Just speak up, dammit!

Incidentally, what’s the mandatory retirement age for judges?

Jury selection was today, and my wife was not selected. She was very much interested and did not choose the out option that was available to her (being over 65).

Irony of all ironies, our son got a notice today to appear for jury duty.

I pay taxes. I’m on the voters’ list. I filled out the census form. I’m so hurt.

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